FLASH! CHINESE MILITARY PREPARING TO WAGE WAR OVER GULF OIL! 3 MILLION MEMBERS OF THE PEOPLES LIBERATION ARMY READY TO DO BATTLE WITH WESTERN ALLIES AS EXPANSIONIST AMBITIONS OF COMMUNIST LEADERS REVEALED! WESTERN POWERS READY TO USE ANY MEANS NECESSARY TO THWART TROOP MOVEMENTS.
IDIOT AMERICAN POLITICIANS UNCONCERNED..., TELL GENERALS TO, "DRINK PLENTY OF JACK DANIELS WHISKEY AND TO GET THE NUKES READY!", THEY'RE TOO BUSY KEEPING TAXES LOW FOR THE ONE PERCENT.
OBAMA SAYS. "FUCK IT, I'LL PLAY SOME HOOPS, HIT THE LINKS, THEN TAKE IN A GAME!".
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