MOST EXPERIENCED JOCKEY: EDGAR PRADO WITH OVER 36,000 STARTS AND 6,600 WINS RIDES #15 CHARMING KITTEN
TODAYS' POLITICALLY CORRECT EXACTA - USE THE WOMAN AND THE BLACK GUY JOCKEYS, WE ARE LIVING IN A MULTI-CULTUAL AND DIVERSE WORLD - RIGHT? SO FOR ALL YOU POLITICALLY CORRECT PRICKS OUT THERE USE #6 MYLUTE RIDDEN BY ROSIE NAPRAVNIK WITH THE # 8 GOLDEN CENTS RIDDEN BY THE BLACK GUY KEVIN KRIGGER. 6-8 EXACTA BOX- GOT IT?
TRAINER TODD PLETCHER HAS FIVE, YES 5! ENTRIES IN THE DERBY! SO LET'S MAKE THIS A TODD PLETCHER DERBY! HIS HORSES ARE THE NUMBERS - 3-9-10-14-15. SO JUST BET THOSE NUMBERS FOR YOUR WIN, EXACTA, TRIFECTA AND SUPERFECTA TICKETS AND YOU'RE GUARANTEED TO WALK HOME A WINNER! GO TODD PLETCHER! CRAZY! ONE TRAINER HAS 5 HORSES ENTERED IN THE DERBY! THAT'S LIKE TRYING TO MAKE LOVE TO FIVE WOMEN ALL AT THE SAME TIME! NOT HUMANLY POSSIBLE! IF HE PULLS THIS OFF, I'LL QUIT GAMBLING - FOREVER!
NOW, HERE IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING. ONLY 3 HORSES IN THE ENTIRE FIELD HAVE A BEYER SPEED FIGURE IN EXCESS OF 100. THIS IS CRITICAL WHEN SIZING UP A POTENTIAL WINNER. ANDY BEYER HAD A FULL RIDE TO HARVARD AND GAVE IT UP TO DO WHAT ELSE? BECOME A DEGENERATE GAMBLER, HANDICAPPING EXPERT AND EXPERT HORSE PLAYER.
#8 GOLDENCENTS BSR OF 103
#12 ITSMYLUCKYDAY BSR OF 104
#14 VERRAZANO BSR OF 105
BASE ON PAST EXPERIENCE WITH BIG STAKES RACES, ONE OF THESE THREE HORSE WILL WIN THE RACE.
I READ TODAY THEY ARE SELLING "SPECIAL" MINT JULEPS OVER AT CHURCHILL DOWNS TODAY FOR $1,000! I WOULD LIKE TO MEET THE IDIOTS THAT WOULD PLUNK DOWN ONE THOUSAND BUCKS FOR A MINT JULEP! THEY MUST BE REAL ASSHOLES! IF I WAS GOING TO DROP $1,000 FOR A MINT JULEP IT BETTER COME WITH A QUARTER OF AN OUNCE OF COCAINE, AN OUNCE OF MAGIC MUSHROOMS AND A CUTE HOOKER NAMED JENNIFER! A $1,000 BUCKS FOR A MINT JULEP! COME ON! KEEP THE MINT JULEP JUST GIVE ME THE BOURBON!
WELL, HERE WE GO NOW WARRIORS DERBY PICKS.
MY GUT TELLS ME #12 ITSMYLUCKYDAY TO WIN IT ALL. HOWEVER, OTHER STRONG POSSIBLES ARE
#5 NORMANDY INVASION
#8 GOLDEN CENTS
#14 VERRAZANO ***UNDEFEATED***
HOOK THESE BABIES UP WITH
#6 MYLUTE
#15 CHARMING KITTEN
#3 REVOLUTIONARY
TWO OTHER HORSES THAT COULD FACTOR
#13 FALLING SKY TONS OF EARLY SPEED WILL BE PACESETTER-WOULD NOT SUPRISE ME IF HE PUSHES THROUGH TO THE END OF RACE - IN THE MONEY!
#19 JAVAS WAR THIS HORSE LIKES TO COME LATE AND WHEN HE MAKES HIS MOVE WATCH OUT HE COULD BE IN THE MONEY TOO!
BELIEVE ME, I WISH I HAD PSYCHIC POWERS AND COULD TELL WHAT EXACTA TO PLAY AND MAKE SOME MONEY, BUT YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN THERE!
IF YOU NOTICED, I DID NOT MENTION #16 ORB. WHY? BECAUSE I HATE CHALK FAVORITES IN A 20 HORSE FIELD. YEAH, YEAH, YOU GOTTA USE HIM AND I PROBABLY WILL BUT IT GOES AGAINST MY GRAIN TO BET A CHALK FAVORITE IN SUCH A BIG FIELD. I ADMIT ORB HAS WON 4 RACES IN A ROW AND HIS JOCKEY JOEL ROSARIO IS ON FIRE RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK THE KOOL-AID! FAMOUS LAST WORDS?
GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK
FOR TODAY 3:11 AM
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