Dow Skids 600, Worst Day Since Credit Crisis!!!

Mini Nuke Hits The Stock Market!!! Market Manipulators Ready To Detonate The Tsar Bomb! IDIOT AMERICA SCRAMBLES FOR COVER AS MARKET MANIPULATORS WIPE OUT HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS IN WEALTH! THIS IS ONLY THE START OF MASSIVE SWINDLE DESIGNED TO SEPARATE YOU FROM YOUR WEALTH. WITH COMPUTER TRADING DESIGNED TO EXECUTE INSTANTANEOUS TRADES BASED ON INSTANTANEOUS DATA, MARKET MANIPULATORS SEEK TO EXPLOIT EVERY FLAW AT THE ELECTRONIC BROKERAGE HOUSES. THESE ROGUE TRADERS EMPLOY THE UTMOST SOPHISTICATION AND HAVE A HIGH DEGREE OF KNOWLEDGE THAT THEY PURCHASE FROM THE FREE MARKET. COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS, SOFTWARE WRITERS AND GEE WHIZ FINANCIAL WHIZZES ARE PAID HANDSOMELY TO DESIGN PROGRAMS THAT WILL EXECUTE, UNTRACEABLE ANOMALOUS TRADES DESIGNED TO EXTRACT MAXIMUM PROFIT OUT OF EVERY TRADE! THE VERY INTEGRITY OF THE ELECTRONIC, COMPUTERIZED TRADING PLATFORMS HAS BEEN COMPROMISED! THE VULTURES OF WALL STREET LOOK FOR THE SICK OR THE DEAD SO THEY CAN SWOOP DOWN AND SUCK THE MARROW FROM THEIR CARCASS! THE BASTARDS! WONDER WHERE THE SEC IS?! PROBABLY WATCHING PORN!